6 posts tagged “love”
Three years ago when Abram and I were regular Voxers.....he made this on our fridge whiteboard! :)
I've been having a lot of introspection time lately. Charlotte still isn't going to sleep for the night until around 3am, so I'm up late with Abram trying to soothe her and make her sleep. Laying in our bed with her in between us, looking over at him and realizing that we haven't kissed or cuddled much since she's been born, really sucks something out of me.
I don't realize how much I miss the contact with him until I don't have it. Until Charlotte was born, I took every kiss and little passing butt pinch for granted. Now, time even touching while wathing TV is precious. Kissing? We have to remember to do it. Telling each other "I love you" is now a routine for me, but a good one. It's not obligatory at all, but I constantly look at him and Charlotte together and think to myself "Damn I love that man" and instead of just thinking it, I make myself say it.
I had read about the toll having a baby takes on the intimacy of a marriage, but I didn't realize it ran so shallow. Sure, you don't have sex for awhile, I figured that. That's the deep intimacy level. But this shallow water -- just hugging, cuddling, kissing -- I wasn't prepared for the effort it would take to maintain that sweet, every day intimacy.
Luckily, I have a kick ass husband who isn't freaked out by me coming up to him out of the blue and clinging to him, telling him I love him, and then grabbing his junk. :) We're cool like that.
Motherhood is something completely different than I thought it would be. While I was fully prepared for loving my daughter, I really had no idea how intensely I would fall for her. Right now, my body is still going through withdrawal from my hormones, and I find myself tearing up when she makes her unconscious, gassy smiles. Because in my head, she's smiling at me. Not her cute farts feeling so good.
I tear up when I see her sleeping and puckering those tiny little lips. Or when she curls those itty bitty toes around my finger. Those itty bitty toes that are exact miniatures of my feet. Long, monkey toes...
Loving her has come so easily.
There were some things I wasn't prepared for...
-The loneliness of being here with her, 24/7, without friends or time for anything other than feeding, changing, and waiting on her.
-The complete destruction that is my unclean house -- where do I find the time to keep it clean when I'm constantly keeping her from crying?
-My cute purse? I have transferred my wallet and phone to the diaper bag. I don't bother with a purse anymore.
-My boobs are out all the time. I forget that most women dont' just whip out boobs so nonchalantly. Abram loves it though....
-Poop isn't gross anymore. Neither is pee. Even when it's on my hand.
-Time spent cuddling my husband is precious. I took it for granted before.
-Time spent in the shower is precious. I took that for granted before too.
-Pregnancy hormones are awesome. Life without them? Not so much.
-Learning to use every appendage, plus teeth and chin to carry things, pick things up, or hold thngs open while simultaneously holding a baby. All while having stiches in your ass and blood leaking from your cooch. I'm way stronger than I thought.
I woke up this morning and went in to my office/craft room and found a sweet little message from some shy Jewish elf....
Apparently I hadn't cut any "T's"......
*swoon*
I love my husband.
....walking in the door and seeig that your husband doodled you something sweet on the chalkboard. It's these little things that make me feel so happy to have finally found the right man. And then I go "Oh shit! I'm a WIFE!" and I run away screaming.
(The 47 days is up there all the time -- couting down every day till the due date)
We went off on our mini-honeymoon this weekend to Savannah, GA. The trip was a very generous gift to us from my uncle and aunt. They put us up in the Doubletree in a gorgeous top floor room with a jacuzzi tub and romance package (champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries!). It was incredible. The service was amazing, the room was so big and comfortable, and we were right in the heart of downtown so once the valet took our car, we didn't have to use it again until we left. Even a prego like me was able to walk to most everything in the blazing southern heat.
Saturday, we wandered around looking for somewhere good to eat, and had read good reviews about Moon River Brewery. We wanted something laid back, inexpensive, and casual since we were going out to a nice restaurant Sunday night. However, this place turned out to be a disaster. It was hot as hell for one. Even inside the restaurant. It looked like a family friendly establishment, but even at 6PM when we got there the bar was full of drunk people yelling and cussing at the top of their lungs. There were quite a few tables with little kids nearby and the parents kept looking at the drunks like they were about to snap.
We waited upwards of twenty minutes to be seated, all the while my feet are killing me and no one has offered me a temporary seat even though I'm obviosuly pregnant. Finally, we get seated, then wait forever for our server while we fan ourselves with our sticky menus. We were so unimpressed that we only ordered nachos (that were mostly burnt on top) and Jew got a beer sampler. We agreed to get the hell out of there and order a pizza from some local place once we were back at the hotel. We did, however, sit next to a really nice family of four that gave us some great parenting advice and talked to us for a bit. Then Jew insisted we get our picture taken by the waitress. One of my least favorite things to do.
After that fiasco, we wandered around down by the river, waiting for the sun to set. The city really was gorgeous at that just before night time. All the old oak trees look really spooky and haunting and down by the river there were very few people. Probably because it's a little bit of a hike to get back up to street level. Something my ass was complaining about the rest of the night. I did manage to capture a little of the romantic sunset though:
After a long day of hiking around town and sweating in noisey restaurants, we just went back to the room, got in the jacuzzi tub and relaxed. It was nice to not have anything to do. No dogs to take care of, no messy house to stress about. Just lounging and being together.
Sunday morning we called the front desk to see about a breakfast restaurant recommendation and in addition to finding out about Express Bakery and Cafe we were also informed that we had a gift certificate for a private carriage tour of the city waiting for us! So, we wandered right around the corner from the hotel to this great little cafe and had a yummy breakfast. My Jew was quite happy they had bagels and lox on the menu and immediately went for it. He's so....Jewish sometimes. :)
Following that, we wandered some more, then went on our carrige tour through the historic district. Our driver was this really nice guy named Jack and the horse was Able. We liked Able a lot. I'll admit, I zoned out of most of what Jack was telling us because a.) I was SO HOT and b.) I was busy taking pictures of all the buildings.
An hour later, we were back to our starting point and we had Jack take our picture in the carriage.....ugh...I hate photo-ops.
Thankfully, I think that was the last staged photo we took. After we got out of the carriage, Jack let me feed Able a carrot....
Conclusion: 1.) Horse lips are uber soft & 2.) Horse mouths are uber saliva-ee and gross after pulling a carriage for an hour.
We went back to the hotel to shower and relax before dinner. That relaxing actually turned into napping for me.
That night we had dinner at The Olde Pink House and it was probably one of the best meals of my life. My aunt and uncle gave us a $100 gift certificate to the restaurant and we used every cent. The service was amazing. We were seated in this romantic corner seat with a window looking out onto one of the beautiful squares. Everything we ordered was delicious and perfect. We've agreed that we'll be going back there for our anniversary. Before we left, my Jew made some accidental sound with his mouth that sent me into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Why it was so funny? I have no idea. Maybe because we were trying to hard to fit into this "fine dining" experience or maybe it was because I was drunk on the best chocolate cake I've ever eaten. Either way, tears were pouring out of my eyes as I tried not tp laught too loud and disturb all the other diners. My Jew thought it was adorable how badly I was was trying to be proper while my face turned beet red and water poured from my eyes. Very elegant.
So, one more night in the hotel, one more night in the jacuzzi, our last night on our little honeymoon, was amazing. The trip was so relaxing and we just fell in love with the city. It's similar to Charleston, but less pretentious and more friendly. We will definately be going back.
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