18 posts tagged “baby”
.....I shall flaunt my beautiful family.
*sigh*
Now I just need to lose some of this baby weight, win the lottery to get a boob lift, and expose my skin to some sun for the first time in 4 years and I'll be worthy of getting in the pic too.
I had an almost perfect weekend. The weather was amazing and my baby was happy and adorable and my husband was sweet and patient -- I couldn't ask for more. And yet, I will. I want to be in my house. Not the 7th ring of hell, aka my apartment.
However, the weekend was wonderful. We took Charlotte and the dogs to the beach for the first time. We stopped on the way to get chili-cheese dogs and munched down on them in the car. Then baby, mommy, daddy and dogs tromped on down into the sand and relaxed for a bit. Charlotte just loved the wind blowing all over her and couldn't figure out the sand between her toes.
Then we went shopping and then over to Mom's to relax and have dinner. It was just...nice to not be stressed. To have a happy baby and a great husband....it almost started to feel like everything was going to work out.
It seems like no matter how busy my life gets, I can't get away from VOX. I miss it when I'm not on it, and I haven't been for awhile. My mother always said I like the sound of my own voice....
So, things are finally settling down. We've moved to Virginia, both got (great) new jobs, and we're closing on an awesome house in less than two weeks. It finally feels like everything is falling into place.
However, life is not without it's ass raping comedy. We are currently living in a tiny one bedroom apartment with nothing more than a matress on the floor, Charlotte's pack-and-play, and a lamp. Two grown adults, a 4 month old, 2 dogs and 4 cats makes for one depressing and infuriating living experience. I just feel lucky to know that we have a way out. Our situation is only temporary. And yet some people live like this because they have to. I couldn't imagine. Well, I guess now I can. But before, I was spoiled. I never thought of myself that way but living in these conditions have made me realize how much I miss my "pampered" lifestyle. Pampered = real dishes, pot holders, dishwasher, and more than 500sq/ft of living space.
The only thing that I look forward to after my day at the office is picking up my little girl and seeing her big toothless smile.
I've been having a lot of introspection time lately. Charlotte still isn't going to sleep for the night until around 3am, so I'm up late with Abram trying to soothe her and make her sleep. Laying in our bed with her in between us, looking over at him and realizing that we haven't kissed or cuddled much since she's been born, really sucks something out of me.
I don't realize how much I miss the contact with him until I don't have it. Until Charlotte was born, I took every kiss and little passing butt pinch for granted. Now, time even touching while wathing TV is precious. Kissing? We have to remember to do it. Telling each other "I love you" is now a routine for me, but a good one. It's not obligatory at all, but I constantly look at him and Charlotte together and think to myself "Damn I love that man" and instead of just thinking it, I make myself say it.
I had read about the toll having a baby takes on the intimacy of a marriage, but I didn't realize it ran so shallow. Sure, you don't have sex for awhile, I figured that. That's the deep intimacy level. But this shallow water -- just hugging, cuddling, kissing -- I wasn't prepared for the effort it would take to maintain that sweet, every day intimacy.
Luckily, I have a kick ass husband who isn't freaked out by me coming up to him out of the blue and clinging to him, telling him I love him, and then grabbing his junk. :) We're cool like that.
I'm hoping that as Charlotte gets older, I'll have a little more time to blog. I used to post at least every day, and sometimes more than once a day. Now, I'm lucky if I get to brush my hair once a day. I've lost touch with all but a few of my VOX neighbors and feel out of the loop on so many levels. However, with this new year I'm hoping to get back into the habit of blogging.
Charlotte is 6 weeks old this week, and she's prettier every day. I can't get over how in love with her we are.
I was terrified to get on the scale since I gave birth. I feel like a beached whale, and I assumed I look like one too. But last night I got dressed up for New Years Eve (although we just stayed in and watched the ball drop) and Abram showered me with compliments and really seemed impressed with my bouncing back body. So...this morning I sucked it up and got on the scale.
Aside from the 10+ pounds I lost just from giving birth, I have lost a little more than 25 pounds in the following 6 weeks. I was super excited to realize that. And all without any exercise at all! Imagine what I can lose when I get off my ass!
My face is almost back to it's un-puffy, pre-pregnancy size....which is nice. It sucked not having a distinction between my chin and neck....
Motherhood is something completely different than I thought it would be. While I was fully prepared for loving my daughter, I really had no idea how intensely I would fall for her. Right now, my body is still going through withdrawal from my hormones, and I find myself tearing up when she makes her unconscious, gassy smiles. Because in my head, she's smiling at me. Not her cute farts feeling so good.
I tear up when I see her sleeping and puckering those tiny little lips. Or when she curls those itty bitty toes around my finger. Those itty bitty toes that are exact miniatures of my feet. Long, monkey toes...
Loving her has come so easily.
There were some things I wasn't prepared for...
-The loneliness of being here with her, 24/7, without friends or time for anything other than feeding, changing, and waiting on her.
-The complete destruction that is my unclean house -- where do I find the time to keep it clean when I'm constantly keeping her from crying?
-My cute purse? I have transferred my wallet and phone to the diaper bag. I don't bother with a purse anymore.
-My boobs are out all the time. I forget that most women dont' just whip out boobs so nonchalantly. Abram loves it though....
-Poop isn't gross anymore. Neither is pee. Even when it's on my hand.
-Time spent cuddling my husband is precious. I took it for granted before.
-Time spent in the shower is precious. I took that for granted before too.
-Pregnancy hormones are awesome. Life without them? Not so much.
-Learning to use every appendage, plus teeth and chin to carry things, pick things up, or hold thngs open while simultaneously holding a baby. All while having stiches in your ass and blood leaking from your cooch. I'm way stronger than I thought.
Baby Charlotte was born Nov 18 at 8:48pm. She was an excrutiatingly delightful 9lbs 10oz. After 12 hours of labor....she's finally here with us.
I never thought I could love someone so immediately, or so completely.
What a thing...
When I look back at how much I used to blog, and how since I've been pregnant (something you would think would spawn a lot of posts) I've hardly posted at all, I'm kind of baffled by my laziness at not capturing all the stages of this time in my life on here.
However, I've also been super busy. I'm essentially working three jobs, and making this baby, and getting the house ready for the baby....and being the only person in my family that can solidify logistics for holidays/visits....I'm the central hub for all the phone calls and arrangements for guests this month.
*sigh*
I'm just tired. And fat. And sooo ready to be not pregnant.
I need to get supplies to make a new lightbox to photograph my cards for the shop and then I have to take all the pictures and make even more cards...all to get the product up on the website before the baby comes. Which, according to the doctor, could be this weekend.
It's like the list of things that needs to be done is never ending. I could use and assistant and a maid....then I would be happy and maybe slightly less stressed out.
I'm starting to hate being so normal throughout this pregnancy. I haven't had anything to really complain about. Nothing terribly exciting medically -- which is a blessing of course -- but still....
Now, everyone I know that was pregnant, isn't. All those little beh-bees have been born. EARLY! And I just want my baby here. Now. Mostly because I am just damn tired of being pregnant. I want to be able to put on my own socks and shoes (a chore Abram now does for me). I want to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and not feel like my belly skin is ripping open. I want to do some sit-ups. I want to have a drink. I want to eat some sushi. I want to smell my baby's hair....
But, I'm stuck in this terminally normal pregnancy. No morning sickness, no real pain or inconviences to be worried about. Absolutley NO sign that this child is eager to leave her toasty-warm home any time soon. And while I'm very grateful that she's healthy and safe in there, I just want her out of me at this point.
Pregnancy was cute when I could still shave. And even see my genitals. Not so cute anymore.
Show us something you've made recently.
I have a feeling she's going to be the answer to a lot of my VOX questions....
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