Motherhood is something completely different than I thought it would be. While I was fully prepared for loving my daughter, I really had no idea how intensely I would fall for her. Right now, my body is still going through withdrawal from my hormones, and I find myself tearing up when she makes her unconscious, gassy smiles. Because in my head, she's smiling at me. Not her cute farts feeling so good.
I tear up when I see her sleeping and puckering those tiny little lips. Or when she curls those itty bitty toes around my finger. Those itty bitty toes that are exact miniatures of my feet. Long, monkey toes...
Loving her has come so easily.
There were some things I wasn't prepared for...
-The loneliness of being here with her, 24/7, without friends or time for anything other than feeding, changing, and waiting on her.
-The complete destruction that is my unclean house -- where do I find the time to keep it clean when I'm constantly keeping her from crying?
-My cute purse? I have transferred my wallet and phone to the diaper bag. I don't bother with a purse anymore.
-My boobs are out all the time. I forget that most women dont' just whip out boobs so nonchalantly. Abram loves it though....
-Poop isn't gross anymore. Neither is pee. Even when it's on my hand.
-Time spent cuddling my husband is precious. I took it for granted before.
-Time spent in the shower is precious. I took that for granted before too.
-Pregnancy hormones are awesome. Life without them? Not so much.
-Learning to use every appendage, plus teeth and chin to carry things, pick things up, or hold thngs open while simultaneously holding a baby. All while having stiches in your ass and blood leaking from your cooch. I'm way stronger than I thought.
Baby Charlotte was born Nov 18 at 8:48pm. She was an excrutiatingly delightful 9lbs 10oz. After 12 hours of labor....she's finally here with us.
I never thought I could love someone so immediately, or so completely.
What a thing...
I haven't been around lately, and unfortunately I can't come back and say "we had our baby!" Nope. Not yet. She's still holding out. Her due date is Sunday. However, we've already scheduled an induction for Tuesday morning if she isn't here by then. I'm really hurting and getting zero sleep. So, Tuesday can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned.
We bought a nifty new camcorder to capture all the new baby stuff. So far, it's been used to capture Abram in the shower. And then me in the shower. It's a war between us...getting the most embarassing footage of each other. Don't ask me why we needed an HD camcorder. It's a man thing. I just nod my head.
I've read a few books...
Made a few cards (all available HERE):
And I cleaned a lot of house....
Next major chore? Giving birth. *sigh*
When I look back at how much I used to blog, and how since I've been pregnant (something you would think would spawn a lot of posts) I've hardly posted at all, I'm kind of baffled by my laziness at not capturing all the stages of this time in my life on here.
However, I've also been super busy. I'm essentially working three jobs, and making this baby, and getting the house ready for the baby....and being the only person in my family that can solidify logistics for holidays/visits....I'm the central hub for all the phone calls and arrangements for guests this month.
*sigh*
I'm just tired. And fat. And sooo ready to be not pregnant.
I need to get supplies to make a new lightbox to photograph my cards for the shop and then I have to take all the pictures and make even more cards...all to get the product up on the website before the baby comes. Which, according to the doctor, could be this weekend.
It's like the list of things that needs to be done is never ending. I could use and assistant and a maid....then I would be happy and maybe slightly less stressed out.
My Jew: "You know you're only supposed to have one foot in a shoe at a time, right?"
Me: *looks down at feet....frowning*
Apparently, my feet are a bit more swollen than I had realized.
Time for this baby to come out!
Finally, my little labor of love has (sorta) come to fruition. Snail Mail Notes is my new shop that sells my handmade note cards (and eventually other various paper goods like gift tags and postcards). I'm an avid card sender and get really giddy when I find pretty new card sets, so I decided to start making my own instead of buying mass produced boxes full.
I'm still in the process of photographing all my stock, and then uploading all the pictures, and putting descriptions with all the merchandise, etc. But there's a few things in there already. Who knew running a little side business was so tiring? I spent almost 2 full days designing, measuring, cutting, and folding paper. Of course, doing all that while 9 months pregnant probably isn't the best idea as I was left grumpy, bleary eyed and sore. Poor Jew had to baby me and make me dinner afterwards.
Anyhoo....come take a look!
omg. candyiloveyou.
If you sing the song in your head, it's even MORE hilarious! John McCain just tickles the shit out of me...
I'm starting to hate being so normal throughout this pregnancy. I haven't had anything to really complain about. Nothing terribly exciting medically -- which is a blessing of course -- but still....
Now, everyone I know that was pregnant, isn't. All those little beh-bees have been born. EARLY! And I just want my baby here. Now. Mostly because I am just damn tired of being pregnant. I want to be able to put on my own socks and shoes (a chore Abram now does for me). I want to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and not feel like my belly skin is ripping open. I want to do some sit-ups. I want to have a drink. I want to eat some sushi. I want to smell my baby's hair....
But, I'm stuck in this terminally normal pregnancy. No morning sickness, no real pain or inconviences to be worried about. Absolutley NO sign that this child is eager to leave her toasty-warm home any time soon. And while I'm very grateful that she's healthy and safe in there, I just want her out of me at this point.
Pregnancy was cute when I could still shave. And even see my genitals. Not so cute anymore.
Show us a picture of a black cat.
That's our little Charlie....
And because my (not so little) Sullivan would be sad if I didn't give him props for being mostly black....
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