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Ever since I had to delete my account due to some work stuff I've lost the mojo for blogging on VOX.  I lost almost all my neighbors when I deleted my account, and now I don't know if the community is as active as it was before.  So, I've moved on over to Blogger....it's lonely, but hopefully that will change.  If anyone is interested....

http://smeeshsmosh.blogspot.com/

Love on vox

Three years ago when Abram and I were regular Voxers.....he made this on our fridge whiteboard!  :) 

My newest, domestic goddess-esque thing I'm excited about is learning to cook.  Not that we only eat frozen pizza and cereal, but I'm not savvy in the kitchen by any stretch of the imagination.  I make a mean spaghetti sauce and kick ass flamin' hot chili, and I can fry up an egg sandwich to die for.  But, when it comes to real, comlete dinners like I want Charlotte to grow up eating with Abram and I, I fall terribly short of proficiency.

So, I've been scouring the internet for recipes that look yummy and also not difficult so that when we get in our house this week I can start whipping things up.  And feeding them to my guinea pig husband.  Luckily, he'll try anything. 

Also, I ran across this website that looks pretty cool.  Once I have a compilation of recipes I might get myself a book.  You know, of recipes I've stolen from other books.  Yes, I am that gangsta. 

In addition to my Betty Crocker-ness I plan on channeling some Christy Brinkley-ness also and make myself into a hot mommy.  Who knows, I might even reallllly channel Christy Brinkley and use the Total Gym to accomplish this.  Eh, probably not.  But I will be getting on the elliptical machine that served as a wonderful coat rack in my old house.  My jiggly-poof must go away.  I REALLY want to be in a bikini this summer.  Is that too unrealistic a goal?  Am I setting myself up for failure?

Ugh, anyhoo....back to work...

You're killing me here Pioneer Woman....seriously...it's just cruel at this point.

Pioneer Woman Mac n Cheese...OMG YUM

I cannot read your site anymore while at my desk digesting my measly decimal point sized Healthy Choice pot roast.   

....the clickity clack of my high heels that I used to find so empowering is now incredibly annoying.....

Don't worry...those aren't my legs..

.....I shall flaunt my beautiful family.

Daddy and Baby

Abram and Charlotte 2

*sigh* 

Now I just need to lose some of this baby weight, win the lottery to get a boob lift, and expose my skin to some sun for the first time in 4 years and I'll be worthy of getting in the pic too. 

I had an almost perfect weekend.  The weather was amazing and my baby was happy and adorable and my husband was sweet and patient -- I couldn't ask for more.  And yet, I will.  I want to be in my house.  Not the 7th ring of hell, aka my apartment.

However, the weekend was wonderful.  We took Charlotte and the dogs to the beach for the first time.  We stopped on the way to get chili-cheese dogs and munched down on them in the car.  Then baby, mommy, daddy and dogs tromped on down into the sand and relaxed for a bit.  Charlotte just loved the wind blowing all over her and couldn't figure out the sand between her toes. 

Jess and Charlotte at the beach

Then we went shopping and then over to Mom's to relax and have dinner.  It was just...nice to not be stressed.  To have a happy baby and a great husband....it almost started to feel like everything was going to work out. 

It seems like no matter how busy my life gets, I can't get away from VOX.  I miss it when I'm not on it, and I haven't been for awhile.  My mother always said I like the sound of my own voice....

So, things are finally settling down.  We've moved to Virginia, both got (great) new jobs, and we're closing on an awesome house in less than two weeks.  It finally feels like everything is falling into place.

However, life is not without it's ass raping comedy.  We are currently living in a tiny one bedroom apartment with nothing more than a matress on the floor, Charlotte's pack-and-play, and a lamp.  Two grown adults, a 4 month old, 2 dogs and 4 cats makes for one depressing and infuriating living experience.  I just feel lucky to know that we have a way out.  Our situation is only temporary.  And yet some people live like this because they have to.  I couldn't imagine.  Well, I guess now I can.  But before, I was spoiled.  I never thought of myself that way but living in these conditions have made me realize how much I miss my "pampered" lifestyle.  Pampered = real dishes, pot holders, dishwasher, and more than 500sq/ft of living space. 

The only thing that I look forward to after my day at the office is picking up my little girl and seeing her big toothless smile. 

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New Years Goofiness 2009

I've been having a lot of introspection time lately.  Charlotte still isn't going to sleep for the night until around 3am, so I'm up late with Abram trying to soothe her and make her sleep.  Laying in our bed with her in between us, looking over at him and realizing that we haven't kissed or cuddled much since she's been born, really sucks something out of me. 

I don't realize how much I miss the contact with him until I don't have it.  Until Charlotte was born, I took every kiss and little passing butt pinch for granted.  Now, time even touching while wathing TV is precious.  Kissing?  We have to remember to do it.  Telling each other "I love you" is now a routine for me, but a good one.  It's not obligatory at all, but I constantly look at him and Charlotte together and think to myself "Damn I love that man" and instead of just thinking it, I make myself say it. 

I had read about the toll having a baby takes on the intimacy of a marriage, but I didn't realize it ran so shallow.  Sure, you don't have sex for awhile, I figured that.  That's the deep intimacy level.  But this shallow water -- just hugging, cuddling, kissing -- I wasn't prepared for the effort it would take to maintain that sweet, every day intimacy.

Luckily, I have a kick ass husband who isn't freaked out by me coming up to him out of the blue and clinging to him, telling him I love him, and then grabbing his junk.  :)  We're cool like that. 

Show us a picture taken last night.

Loves Ya

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