PersimmonGirl’s Neighborhood

As the pipe clamp blisters began to pop and heal on my hands, I knew I was in a race against myself to find my next gig in woodworking. I had just quit my job after I was put on a mandatory 72-hour work week schedule, which was neither safe nor necessary in the warehouse where I was a full time furniture maker. From my first taste of sawdust, I was hooked. I loved everything about it, especially the aches & pains associated with putting in a hard day of manual labor.

I had moved thousands of miles from my industrial Michigan factory roots, only to go to college and decide the blue collar life is what I wanted. I quit my job, only when it was obvious that it would either kill or permanently injure me...but it was still one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Besides the fact that I love it, I realize now how wrapped up I was in the identity of being just one thing...In my working life, I have always had to have at least three side hustles going on and I've done everything from nude modeling, to being a maid, a well-paid executive assistant, an extra in movies, a make-up artist, to an apprentice sander in a woodshop.

When I call home to update my family, typically, whatever it is I describe is met with unconditional love & acceptance, even if there is a tinge of it not necessarily being understood. As a woodworker, I was finally able to align myself with an identity - one thing that I loved being and doing...and it was so much easier to explain that!

Predictably, when the job fell apart, I scrambled for any paying gig I could find on craigslist. As it turns out, it was a good time to be involved with film making and I even signed up for acting classes. Being involved in the process is as exciting as it seems like it would be - even the long hours of waiting, while being completely dressed to the nines for a 6:00 a.m. call time, shouldn't be exciting, but it still is.

Around this time I also found work as a fit model, working for a local design house. It's a job that pays very well but the work is inconsistent. Still, I am extremely thankful to have it, even if it is a bit weird for me to use it as an identifier at the dentist's office and have the receptionist squeal and ask me a bunch of questions about the job. That's a rock star moment, I'm not going to lie, but it's completely foreign to me to identify myself as "model" in any capacity...especially when "factory rat" was a closer signifier just weeks ago.

I'm not sure if all the discomfort in lacking a fixed occupation or identity squarely rests on my shoulders, or if I am reacting to other people's confusion when I try to explain, "Well, I'm actually a furniture maker, but I'm out of work, so I'm doing the acting and modeling thing, while looking for another woodworking gig." Who does that? I'm not sure if I even understand myself anymore.

In the long run, it's probably a good thing that I am so versatile & adaptable - I always have something relevent for any type of resume I'm creating for myself (and I have at least 3); but I long for the day when I have a short answer to the question, "So what do you do?" 

Life has been so busy. And while that's no excuse to be ignoring my blog, it was the one thing that wasn't paying me in some form. So, I let it go. And while I am posting now, I have no idea how often I will be posting... so... 

Life has been so busy. And while that's no excuse to be ignoring my blog, it was the one thing that wasn't paying me in some form. So, I let it go. And while I am posting now, I have no idea how often I will be posting... so... 

Loathe:

• Driving home at 11p thinking little more than, "OMG, I'm soooo hungry!!" (I usually only eat at 1p)

• Having "dinner" (soup) at 11:30p
  

• Waking up with heartburn (side effect of soup at 11:30p). Also: Going to bed with heartburn (doesn't happen often but kicked in while I was typing this

• The inflatable skiing black Santa lawn decoration appears to be gone; replaced by an inflatable skiing penquin Santa before I got a pic

• Not catching myself before screaming from knee pain induced by the elevator settling onto my requested floor (man, that's some serious hyper sensitivity! other than that moment, I'm mostly doing okay.)

• Earliest appt I could get at the DMV, for my handicap placard, is Jan 12 (even that took 4 phone calls and 15 minutes of holding but the girl who answered was really super nice)

• My house is a disaster area. Funny how that can happen so fast. It was okay for 3 weeks without cleaning but in the last 1.5 weeks, it's gone to hell.

• Ants - just enough for me to know they're invading but not enough for me to figure out what they're after, nor their main route into the house.

• The song I heard on KCRW this morn that is a total rip off of Adam & the Ants, Kings of the Wild Frontier. The lyrics are different but it uses the EXACT drum lines from that song. But no one gave any credit to A&tAs and, instead, acted like it was some great new song. PAH!!
  

• Headaches

• Not gonna make it to the chiro in the morn which leaves, I think, only Fri or Sat morning this week.

• DeStressing after realizing I'm so burnt out at work that I have to stop pushing myself so hard (for the last 2 weeks, I've been getting 12 to 15 hours of work done during every 8 hours I've been in the office)

• Skipping meetings because (1) I no longer care how they turn out and (2) I refuse to be baited into more fights with the s/w guy. I finally snapped at him last week, for expecting me to do his job, and simultaneously lost so much respect for him that I try not to even look at, let alone speak with, him.
  

• I did NOT ask that same s/w guy (who's at least as old as me), "Ya gonna cry about it, crybaby?!" (He was having such a little fit about something that didn't even involve me (but he was still trying to get me to fight it with him) that it really did seem like he was going to cry. I don't know where the bully in me came from - that's new and I'm glad I didn't let it out.) Instead, I just kept saying, "It's not my document, I haven't even read it; go talk to the person who wrote it!"
  

• Some mornings, I wake up with all 4 cats in bed with me and none of them are fighting (Boo still REALLY hates Skritches)
  

• I recognized the Art Theater (a Long Beach landmark) in the SeroquelXR ads. I was 99% certain I was right but tonight I caught the address on the ticket booth, looked up the addy for the Art, and confirmed its the same. If you've seen the ads, the space on the left is a coffeshop and on the right is a wine bar.
  

• The SeroquelXR ads perfectly describe how I've been feeling (INVISIBLE). I don't plan to take the drug but it's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone.

• Royal Crown Review is the opening act for the Brian Setzer Xmas show this weekend (If you read about Brian going to ER on Mon night, I just found an update that it was only dehydration/vertigo/altitude sickness. He's okay now.)
  

• My boss got a big kick out of the cat calendar (paintings by Art & Tea) that I gave her

• There is a HUGE box (delivered by FedEx) in my backyard. Dunno if it's the automatic cat litter box (from Amazon) or my clothes (from Old Navy) cause it was too large for me to bother with at 11:30pm.
  

• 3 floater holidays next year

• Garfunkel and Oates were on Leno last night (singing a new song about annual holiday newsletters), were really good, and were a big hit with the audience

• I got a TON done at the office today - way more than I expected and only 2 hours of OT (which were an accident because I was "in the zone")
  

• Since I'm no longer worried about how much I accomplish at the office, I don't feel a need to be awake/alert all the time, so I figure I can go back on Cymbalta whenever I want. That should, hopefully, mellow me out mentally/emotionally (which I REALLY need it; even I know I've been a total and complete BITCH for the last month), and provide daily pain management.
  

• aussieBum (fun attitude, sexy undies, soft ultra-touchable undies, and SUPER sexy models). Their constant facebook updates (usually with pictures) make me happy while I'm at work. NOTE TO ALL GUYS: Seriously... buy a pair! Your partner (female or male) will thank you!!
  

• I'm thinking of buying this Pearls Before Swine coffee mug (can't quit commit to it yet cause s/h seems disproportionately high... so the $15 mug ends up being $23, which is too much to spend on a mug). Those of you playing along at home may recognize the cartoon as one of the pieces artwork currently hanging on my office wall.
  

Woot! Way Hay! And lots of other shrieking sounds.

Birmingham City, the butt of many a joke such as "They are a reet strong team, they are holding up the whole Division", are SIXTH in the Premiership.

Sixth!

Ahead of Liverpool (who are scum because they stole the Worthington Cup from us on penalties).

SIXTH!

Goal difference of 1 is pretty shite.

But SIXTH1

Can you tell I am both happy and slightly drunk?